


On A Submarine Mission for You, Baby

by ScienceOfficerWillowRosenberg (workaholicSlacker)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Humor, No shame november, basically a one-joke drabble, post canon i guess, sex comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-08
Updated: 2016-11-08
Packaged: 2018-08-28 17:57:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8456263
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/workaholicSlacker/pseuds/ScienceOfficerWillowRosenberg
Summary: Spike picks bad sex music.  That's it.  That's the fic.I don't think it'll be funny if you don't know 'Sub-Mission' by the Sex Pistols.  Not entirely sure it's funny at all?Written for No Shame November, because I've wanted to write this for a while actually.





	

Spike was good.  Like, 'been doing this for a century or more and doesn't need to breathe' good.  She'd wanted him to do this for a while, but without a soul there was no way he was putting his fangy-parts right up against her, well, parts.  The big blarey guitars weren't even that annoying.

Wait.  Hold up.  Were those  _dolphin noises?_

"Spike.  Stop.  Um, actual stop.  Effulgent."

Spike removed his head from between her thighs.  "Fangs too scary, luv?"  A couple years ago this would have been a taunt.  Now he sounded genuinely concerned.

"No, it's just, um, what song is this?"

"You use the safeword for  _that?"_

Buffy ignores the fact that he's put on pouty-face. "Spike, what's the song?"

Spike was taken aback.  "I, er, put on side B of Never Mind the Bollocks.  Song's called 'Sub-Mission. I thought, you know--" he began to sing off-key--"going down, down..."  He seemed almost sheepish. "Thought I was being cute. Even put it on halfway into 'Seventeen,' which was right considerate of me for reasons I'm not disclosing.  Besides, side A's got 'Bodies,' and I don't imagine the phrase 'gurgling bloody mess' is much of a turn-on for you human lot."

Buffy winced.

"See, I made the right decision."

Buffy sighed. "Spike, the angry English guys are trying to sound like sea creatures."

"Is that a problem?"

Buffy rolled her eyes.

"Fine.  It's pistol-free sex from here on."

"Just...get back down there, okay?"

Spike submerged himself once more.


End file.
